Excerpt from Chapter 5


(For women)

"Understand that God also has a purpose for you beyond being a wife and mother, which is a more basic purpose as a woman, as His daughter. He loves you individually, and He loves you beyond your comprehension. He knew you before He formed you in your mother’s womb (Jeremiah 1:5), and you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14). Sometimes our personal insecurities get in the way of our relationship with our husband. We can’t understand our true value until we understand just how valuable we are to the Lord."


I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made...

Psalm 139:14, ESV

(for men)

"God loves you more than you can comprehend. God loves you with a deep love and He makes sure that you know that throughout His Word. The problem is that sometimes as men, we have trouble expressing our love to others. This includes our love of God. You have to start an intimate relationship with God and express all the things you have within you. You might not be as emotional as your wife is, and so sometimes, this can be difficult. There are so many things that you live through as a man, and so many things that society tells you about what a “real” man does and does not do, that you may not even realize how it affects you.

What happens is that when you continue to act in a non-emotional way, you actually hold in things that you need to let go. I (Luis) grew up seeing many things that sometimes I wish I could un-see. Those things caused me to build walls around my heart. Women, not all, but most women tend to release many emotions to help them cope. But men tend to keep things bottled up, and it makes for a tough exterior, and then this becomes a barrier to their heart.

You must release yourself to the Lord so that you can have the intimate relationship you were meant to have with both the Lord and your wife. You must allow those walls to come down. The people of Jericho had strong walls, and kept their gates tightly shut because they were afraid of the Israelites. They were correct to be afraid because the Lord was on the opposite side.

For you this is not the case, the Lord is not on the opposing side, and there is no need to keep your gates shut and the walls up. On the contrary, there is a flood of blessing that awaits when you decide to open the gates and tear down the walls."


Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.

Romans 12:10, NLT