Excerpt from Chapter 4


"First, you must know that conflict in marriage is absolutely normal. Conflict will always exist because we are all different human beings, with different thoughts, ideas, and opinions. It's not the conflict that defines you. It's how you resolve the conflict that will ultimately speak about who you are in Christ. Sometimes conflict is fairly easy to resolve. At other times, conflict seems like it's impossible to move past. Be encouraged and know that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you, and this includes resolving conflict.

There are many types of challenges that cause the conflict that most couples face. Challenges with finances, challenges with raising children, challenges with in-laws, challenges with friends, work, school, etc. Challenges when you disagree on where to go, or what to do. Depending on how strongly you feel about a certain thing, this can raise conflict. Other reasons that conflict can start are that your expectations are not met, when you feel unappreciated, or undervalued. When you feel that your rights, or what you believe that you deserve, have been violated. It is hard to move past these types of disagreements and disappointments.

Conflict can be difficult and straining, but conflict resolution can cause the conflict to be a blessing in disguise. It can help you to understand each other better and gives you an opportunity to grow. The Word of God speaks to you about how conflict helps increase your faith, but it also helps to mature you. When conflict strikes, try to learn from the experience.

I know that trying to learn from a disagreement is easier said than done, but it is possible to take from your disagreements things that can be positive for your relationship. As you grow together through each conflict, you will learn more about each other. You'll also learn to be a bit more patient each time. Each time a bit more understanding."


Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

James 1:2-4 NIV